Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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