when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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