Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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