I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize