I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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