He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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