You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize