My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize