i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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