Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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