in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
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I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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