dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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