The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize