did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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