Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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