I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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