So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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