An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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