Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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