Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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