Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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