sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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