i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
"it" just moved
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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