Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
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