so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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