People in love make me want to vomit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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