Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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