I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize