and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
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Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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