This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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