you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize