No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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