i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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