wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize