he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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