if i can run in heels then i can drive
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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