Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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