youre lurking in front of me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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