Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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