I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize