I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize