That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
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I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
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It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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