So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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