lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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