dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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