I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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