Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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