Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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