1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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