4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Pappa wants mamma naked
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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