so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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